


And the poets are just kids who didn't make it

by snarky_saxophonist



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bitty's cookies help with everything, Derek "Nursey" Nurse is Unchill, Jack is great, tw panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:18:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9634085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarky_saxophonist/pseuds/snarky_saxophonist
Summary: Written for NurseyWeek, prompt Mistake.Nursey is having a shit time, but gets some unexpected help.





	

Nursey wasn’t sure where his day had gone to shit. He’d thought it was fine, he had his English Lit class in the morning, which he actually enjoyed, then a poetry workshop early in the afternoon. Somehow, however, it had got to be too much, and he’d practically sprinted out of his workshop to go to the Haus, hoping for a piece of pie and a Bitty hug. He’d apparently forgotten that Thursdays were when everyone had class in the late afternoon except for him, meaning that he was now alone with his thoughts, which never ended well when he got to be like this. 

Dropping to the ground, Nursey leaned against the back of the couch and drew his knees into his chest, closing his eyes and trying to breathe against the overwhelming sensation of everything going on around him and bearing too much weight and too many responsibilities down on him and he wasn’t good enough to deal with any of this and why did he think he possibly could succeed in life and why was he such a fuckup and why was everything he did a mistake-

“Nursey?” an unexpected voice startled him out of his thoughts. Nursey flinched back from the sound, slamming his head into the couch behind him and trying to back up but the couch was behind him and he couldn’t get away and- 

Jack dropped to the floor across from him, putting a greater distance between the two of them and holding up his hands in a sign of peace. “Hey, Nurse, not gonna touch you or come near you if you don’t want me to. I just want to help. Do you want me to count so you can get your breathing under control?”

Nursey nodded shakily, breaths still sawing ineffectively in and out of his lungs far too rapidly. Jack began to count quietly, his tone gentle and even and steady, and gradually Nursey started to manage to slow down his breathing.

“Sorry,” he mumbled to Jack when he had enough control to speak without sobbing again. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t-“

“It’s okay, Nursey, I understand,” Jack said gently, looking sympathetic. “I get panic attacks too. Are you going to be okay to sit here for a moment while I grab you a glass of water?”

“You don’t have to-” Nursey tried, face flushed with embarrassment over being seen like this, especially by Jack Zimmermann.

“I want to help, Nursey. Are you going to be okay for a minute or do you want me to stay with you?”

“Um, I-I’m okay,” Nursey said hesitantly, unused to having someone help him after a panic attack. He watched Jack hurry into the kitchen, wondering if Jack really wanted to help or if he was just trying to get away from the mess that Nursey was as fast as possible. It was probably the latter, considering that Nursey never wanted to even deal with his own host of mistakes, so why would a guy that didn’t seem to like him all that much want to help?

“Hey, can you breathe with me again?” Jack asked, and Nursey wasn’t sure when he’d gotten back, but when Jack started counting, Nursey realized that his breathing had gotten too rapid again. He couldn’t even deal with his shitty panic attack with Jack’s help, of course he had to fuck up again and have another fucking panic attack because what did he ever do that wasn’t riddled with mistakes. 

“Nursey, is it okay if I touch you?” Jack asked gently a minute later, when Nursey’s breaths hadn’t started slowing to a normal rate at all. Nursey nodded jerkily, and Jack gently reached out, taking Nursey’s hand and laying it on his chest, above his steadily beating heart. “Try to match your breathing to mine and my heartbeat, okay?”

It took longer this time, but gradually Nursey’s gasping sobs tapered into silent tears rolling down his cheeks. His breathing had finally evened out, and he pulled his hand away from Jack’s chest to bury his head in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Jack,” he mumbled almost inaudibly. “You shouldn’t have to deal with my shit.”

“I’ve got your back, Nursey,” Jack said. “Are you still okay with being touched?”

Nursey hiccupped and nodded yet again. Jack took that as an okay to wrap an arm around Nursey’s shaking shoulders, drawing him into a tight hug. Nursey had never had someone comfort him after a panic attack like this before, but it felt really nice, even though he was still kind of freaking out about Jack seeing him like this. 

“You’re gonna be okay, Nurse,” Jack murmured. “Do you think you can drink some water?” Nursey nodded, not trusting himself enough to speak, and took the water glass from Jack. His first sip was tentative, not sure if it would make him feel sick, but the cool liquid tasted really good and Nursey started to drink it too quickly. Jack tapped his wrist gently. “I know it’s probably making you feel better right now, but you might want to slow down a little bit, just to make sure you don’t choke or feel sick, eh?” His tone was gentle and non judgmental, and Nursey obediently stopped gulping the water, transitioning to slow sips until the glass was empty.

“Thanks, Jack,” Nursey said quietly, setting the glass on the floor and forcing himself to meet the older man’s eyes. “I appreciate you doing this.”

“Of course,” Jack told him. “What do you normally do after panic attacks? Can I get you anything?”

“Uh, I normally just, uh, cry and freak out and eventually fall asleep?” Nursey said hesitantly. 

“Have you talked to anyone about your panic attacks?” Jack asked, his arm still around Nursey’s shoulders.

“Um, no?”

“Not right now, of course, but if you feel up to it later, maybe you should talk to somebody about it. If you don’t want to go alone, I could go with you to the campus counseling center at some point, or Bitty, if you don’t want me,” Jack offered. “Don’t worry about it right now, though, just something to mull over in the future. For now, I have one of Bitty’s famed chocolate chip cookies. That sound good?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Nursey said shakily, taking the cookie from Jack and nibbling at it, the chocolate and sugar making him feel a little better. “I think I’m okay now, you can go if you want. Thanks for sticking around and dealing with me.”

“If you want me to go, I’ll go, but don’t tell me to go just because you think I don’t want to be here.”

“I don’t really want to be alone right now,” Nursey admitted, finishing the cookie and running a hand through his hair. “Are you sure you’re okay with hanging around?”

“I know what it’s like to be in your place,” Jack told him. “I want to help. Do you want to talk about anything? Whatever it is, I won’t mind listening.”

Nursey took a deep breath, reminding himself that Jack had offered, and probably wouldn’t judge him for what he said. “I just… Everything I do is a mistake. My poetry today at my workshop was shit, and the group I’m assigned with right now is a bunch of white frat bros who all hate me and I’m not sure if it’s cause I’m black or because I’m just fucked up and I haven’t been as solid on the ice recently and the team’s going to start hating me because of that soon too,” he blurted out.

“I know it feels like whatever you do on the ice will decide what your teammates think of you, but these guys will never hate you. You could score on Chowder every single game for the rest of the season and they wouldn’t hate you, I promise,” Jack said, his tone bleeding sincerity. “And your poetry group guys? Fuck them. Show them how much better you are by writing better poetry than they could ever dream of. I’m not a big poetry guy, but all the stuff of yours I’ve read is really great. You’re not a mistake, and the things you do aren’t either.”

“Thanks, Jack,” Nursey said, rubbing at his eyes. “I really appreciate you saying that.”

“I’ve got your back, Nurse,” Jack said again. “And we’re all here to help you, whenever you need it. Now, what do you say you steal Bitty’s bed and take a nap? Panic attacks take a lot out of you, and I’m sure he won’t mind in the slightest, even if I don’t tell him why.”

“Um, you can, if you want,” Nursey said, feeling stupid. “Tell him, that is. I don’t mind him knowing, I trust him.”

“Good,” Jack gave him a smile. “Less talking, more napping now, eh?”

“Yes, Captain-even-though-you’re-technically-not-mine-anymore,” Nursey said, hugging Jack gratefully. “And thank you.”


End file.
